Confidence is Catching

Ever wonder why it is sometimes hard to feel confident?

Negative messages play a part. We see and hear things that zap our confidence every day.

It's not always easy to be positive when we are surrounded by negatives. Still we can choose a positive outlook. We can look for the good. We can complement others. We can complement ourselves. Why not.


Forgiveness and love are the antidote for judgement. We forgive others when they make mistakes. We love them even when they aren't perfect. Why not forgive ourselves when things go wrong. Let's do our best, and then forgive the rest. Forgive, and move on with confidence and love. Remember, it's okay to love yourself.


Comparing is a big confidence demon. We see others at their best and ourselves at our worst. We try to keep up with the neighbors. We want our yards, our bank accounts, and our children to look like theirs. It's hard to measure up.




Gratitude is the antidote for comparing. Gratitude helps us appreciate what we have. When we are comparing ourselves or our posessions with others we can't enjoy either one. Comparing robs us of peace and joy. When we choose to compare we can never have enough or be enough.

We can be our own worst enemy. We can be demanding and cruel. Judging and competing can destroy our peace and our confidence.

Choose to be positive. Choose joy. Choose confidence. Choose forgiveness. Choose love.

The choice is yours.

Linda Garner

If We Do It in Elevators...

Are any of you old enough to remember candid camera? It was a funny show in black and white. They caught Americans on camera doing what they do when they think no one is watching. Here's a fun little clip that may surprise you.



Isn't that funny? I hope you laughed.

Made me wonder...

Why do we do it? Why do we follow the crowd? Most of us think that we aren't that worried about what others thing. We are independent. We think for ourselves. We do our own thing. We aren't influenced by peer pressure, are we?

If we do it in elevators...

Linda Garner

It's Okay to be Different

We like to be alike.

I don't know why, but we love to be the same. We were created to be different, but we spend a lot of our time trying to be like everyone else.

"What are you going to wear?" we ask each other. Where did you get that hat, that purse, that lipstick?

We want to fit in. We follow the crowd.

What's wrong with being unique? What's wrong with celebrating our differences? What's wrong with setting a trend instead of following one?

You are amazing. You are one of a kind. No one in the world is exactly like you. Why be the same when you were born to stand out?

Own your identity. Stand in your truth. Love being different.

Be yourself. Only you can do it.

Linda Garner

Celebrating Miracles

I believe in miracles. One of my favorite miracles is the miracle of life.

We have a new miracle in our life. Her name is Maxine, and she is our granddaughter. She was born on Saturday, declaring her independence from the womb two days before America's birthday. I have been talking to her about the fireworks and telling her that the world is celebrating her birth. I think she believes me.

There are lots of reasons that Maxine is a miracle baby. The labor was long and hard. Her mom had health challenges that made having a baby seem risky. Maxine's parents waited a long time for her. They worked hard at getting healthy and minimizing the risk of having a baby.

Maxine is our miracle. What's yours?

Every life is a miracle. Every birth is worth celebrating and every life is worth living.

I am always amazed at the miracle of birth. What began as a single cell grows into a tiny human with a brain, a heart, and lungs. The human body is a complex bundle of organs, nerves, bone, and muscle. Think of the things this body is capable of. Imagine the gift of sight, hearing, thought. All these gifts are wrapped in an incredibly beautiful package and delivered in a most unusual way.

Did you know that babies are born without kneecaps, but fully equipped with a blueprint for their development at the appropriate time. Every beautiful body is encoded with instructions that will last a lifetime, and it's mostly automatic. No owner's manual to read.

Consider these amazing facts. The average human heart will beat 300,000 million times in its lifetime and pump 48 million gallons of blood. The average human brain has 100 billion nerve cells. Nerve impulses to and from the brain travel as fast as 170 miles per hour.

There's more. During a 24-hour period, the average human will breathe 23,040 times. Human blood travels 60,000 miles per day on its journey through the body.

We could go on an on. The human body is the most miraculous amazing machine ever invented, and you are the proud owner of one. Celebrate the miracle of your body. Create a beautiful life.

Why not give your body the respect and care that it deserves. Clean air and water, nutritious food, and invigorating exercise are just the ticket. Thank your body for it's tireless service. Do something wonderful for you body every day. Today is the perfect day to start.

Celebrate life.

Linda Garner

Noteworthy

It was one of the nicest notes I had ever received. It was from a piano student who thanked me for making a difference in his life. I saved it for a long time. I'm not sure what happened to it.

I'll bet you get letters like that. Not every day of course, but once in a while you get a thoughtful note that makes your day. For me, a meaningful note creates a special kind of happy, one that I like to remember. Think about the last really nice note you got. Do you remember what it said? Do you remember how it made you feel?What happened to it?

When I get letters like that, I save them for a while and read them again and again. Eventually, though, they become part of the clutter of my life. I give in to tidiness and throw them away. It hurts a little. I've sometimes regretted this, but, really, where do you store those special notes and letters? Maybe in a shoebox, right next to the box of photos that your grandkids will someday organize?

I received a gift that changed all that. It was an inexpensive notebook that had been covered with pretty paper and decorated with ribbons. It sat on my shelf for a long time looking lovely, but quite empty.

What to do with an empty book? What to do with sweet little notes? I think I found a match. This idea is so simple that even I can do it. All it takes is a little glue and it doesn't need to be acid free, archival stuff. I'm surprised I didn't think of it sooner.

Another messy problem for me was those cute little handouts I sometimes get. They might have little thoughts or quotes on them. Sometimes they are decorative. These go on my fridge for a while, but how many quotes do I want on my fridge? Do I want my fridge to become a bulletin board. Trust me, I'm not a neat-freak, but even I have limits.

After a reasonable time on my fridge/bulletin board, these little handouts can also make the move to my empty book.

Besides providing storage for special notes and handouts, this book can provide a little pick-me-up, on discouraging days, when I question my value or my effectiveness. Reading notes of appreciation can remind me that I am making a difference. I am loved and valued.

The handouts can remind me of special times with people who care about me. Reading the thoughts on them can lift my spirits, or change my attitude on a difficult day. Even on difficult days I can be grateful and I can be glad to be me.

Not every note or handout needs to be saved, but some are worth keeping. If I come across a thought that speaks to me, I don't have to wait for a handout. I can write it in my book. Pretty markers are fun, but totally optional. Sticky notes work too.

This is the first thought that made it into my notebook. "By being yourself you put something wonderful in the world that wasn't there before." (Edwin Elliot) I don't know who Edwin Elliot is, but I love the way he thinks. Don't you?

Do you have an empty notebook and some pretty paper? Size doesn't matter. You can dress it up, but only if you want to. It's a little scrapbook, but simpler. No stress involved.

Make it plain or fancy. Make it fun. Just do it. Create a space for meaningful notes--a space that you can visit whenever you want. Mine is called Linda's LoveNotes. Maybe yours will be called Teresa's Treasures or Sally's Stuff.

If notes of appreciation make a difference for you, maybe you can make a difference for someone else by writing thoughtful notes. Notice people. Catch them doing something nice and tell them you appreciate it. Notes don’t have to be elaborate, just heartfelt. They don’t even have to be on fancy cards. Nice words on notebook paper are just as meaningful. Make someone’s day.

If it’s been a while since you’ve received a thoughtful note, why not write your own. No one knows you better. Write a note that says the things you’d love to hear. Write the note that you would love to read. It's okay to love yourself.

What would you say to yourself? Here are some ideas.

I love your new haircut. It looks great on you.

By the way, have you lost weight? I noticed. You look terrific.

You have the nicest kids. I think you’ve taught them well.

I really appreciate your kindness. You made a difference last week when you stopped by to say hello.

That was a great lesson you gave on Sunday. It touched my heart.

I love your smile. You make me happy. Thanks for being my friend.

Linda Garner

A Work in Progress

It's true. I'm not perfect. Neither are you. I'm working on it. I have a feeling you are too. I'm a work in process. I have flaws, but I also have hope. I have both goals and dreams.

What if we were only valued for our achievements? What if the only goal that mattered was perfection? What if our worth was attached to the ends and not the means? What if only the perfect were considered worth something?

Sometimes we focus too much on results. We demand perfection and feel worth less when we fall short of our expectations. Perfection is a life-long process and may be beyond our grasp. Is there no joy in the journey?

If we harbor thoughts of worthlessness because we are not perfect, we have set ourselves up for failure. We will never be good enough.

This is a thinking error. Indeed our worth is infinite. Our service and contributions, though not perfect, are valuable. Your life has value. So does mine.

You are in charge of your thoughts. You can change your thinking. You can choose to value your efforts, your body, your appearance, your feelings, your thoughts. You can choose to enjoy the present. You can choose to enjoy becoming. You can choose.

You can do this. You can. You are a work in progress. What could be better.

Enjoy.

Linda Garner

It'll Be Our Secret

The page was covered with circles of different sizes. I invited the girls to write in each circle something they liked about themselves. I suggested that some could be about their appearance, but some should be about other things. Talents could be included, as well as character traits.

Most girls got right to work, but one beautiful and outstanding girl stared at the paper in her lap, and then gave me a questioning look. "This doesn't feel right," she said. "This feels like bragging." She really looked uncomfortable. "We aren't supposed to..." Her voice trailed off, as if she wasn't sure how to finish the sentence.

I finished it for her "We aren't supposed to like ourselves?"I asked. "Is that what you're thinking?"

She nodded. She seemed embarassed.

The discussion that followed was exciting. Ideas were shared that gave her a new perspective on self-worth. We gave her permission to celebrate her strengths. We gave her permission to love herself.

Lots of us identify with Emily's (not her real name)question. "We aren't supposed to like ourselves, are we? Liking ourselves is not part of our culture. We think that people who like themselves are selfish and bratty. We think that people who like themselves are mean.

Honestly, I think we have it backwards. People who like themselves are free to reach out to others. They serve more. They love more. They worry less about appearances. People who like themselves have more compassion. They don't go around hurting others.

Bullies are not people who like themselves. Prisons are filled with people who don't like themselves. Drug abuse, eating disorders, personality disorders, behavior disorders, and addictions take root in people who don't like themselves.

If we are supposed to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, we better like ourselves a lot.

Draw some circles on a piece of paper. It's easy. Grab some lids from things in your cupboard and start tracing. In each circle write something you like about yourself. Don't be embarassed. Nobody has to see it but you. It'll be our secret.

Isn't it time we starting loving ourselves?

Linda Garner