Gratitude: The Forgotten Key

There is something lovely about autumn. The days are crisper and there is a sense of purpose in the air. I enjoy the fall color and the gently falling leaves. I breathe deeply. I smell change.

As I watch the leaves fall, I ponder change. I wonder about the future. I look inside myself and enjoy the stillness. I step softly into my heart and take inventory. I embrace my gifts and examine my baggage. It is a good time for letting go.

What will I let go of this autumn? Some of my baggage is old and familiar. Shall I be done with it, at last? Is it time to move on? Can I let it go, like softly falling leaves, and allow it to gather at my feet, where I can sweep it up and carry it out?

Can I let go of judgement? Deceit? Bitterness? Self-Pity? Resentment? Anger? Can I let go of pain? Some thoughts have lodged in my heart for so long, they seem like family. Who would I be without these guests? Guests are they, or perhaps intruders?

I examine each piece of baggage, each intruder, and wonder why I have kept it close for so long. In the corners of my heart I find hidden containers. Secrets. Do I know them?

Inferiority. Not good enough. Not smart enough. Not pretty enough. No one likes me. It’s too late. I never… I always… How long have those bags been hidden in my heart? Who put them there?

Not I. Surely not I. Have I just been storing them, then, til someone claims them? Let them fall. I shake my inner tree and let them go.

I sweep the corners and gather the dust of loneliness, the cobwebs of despair, the skeletons of self-judgement, the bones of isolation.

Autumn feels good. With joy, I release things that no longer serve me. I let them go. I sweep up the leaves of yesterday and carry them out.

So much garbage. Did I get it all? Maybe not, but there is more room in my heart now. Room for shiny new gifts. Room for a jar of love, a box of forgiveness, a sack of friendship. Room for a cup of kindness, a tin of tolerance, and a can of cooperation.

With the baggage gone, I see a door that I didn’t noticed before. It was hidden behind the intruders. The word PEACE is painted on the door in pretty script. What lies behind that door ? A closet? A hallway? An adventure? The door is locked. I search for a key. There it is hanging from a ribbon on a nail. The key is ornate, the ribbon delicate, and it is labeled gratitude.

Gratitude is the key.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

I turn the key and enter. It’s not a hallway or a closet. It’s a beautiful room. Silently, it speaks the word on the door. It whispers peace.

The room is lovely. Fresh flowers grace the table. A fire crackles in the fireplace. The walls are decorated with things I love, meaningful art and pictures of things I am grateful for. I see faces of family and friends. I see happy memories frozen in time. These are precious gifts.

I explore this comfortable room. I sit at the piano and caress the keys lovingly. A tender melody flows from my grateful fingers. The music of my heart fills the stillness with gratitude. The gift of music sweetens my life.

I am drawn to the bookshelf where I notice my favorite books are mingled with some I have never read. I touch each one, feeling gratitude for the power of words. I am delighted that there are always new words to read. My fingers rest lovingly on the scriptures. I am grateful for the words of life.

Light filters in through a single window. I stand at the window and gaze at a charming garden alive with gracious plants. I throw open the window to breathe in the colors of life--the colors of gratitude. I find joy in this garden.

Inside this cozy room I become aware of my gifts, which are many. They bring meaning and enjoyment into my life. They bring me peace. I gather these gifts in my arms and carry them close to me, as I move toward the fire.

There is a mirror above the fireplace. As I look into the mirror, I am surprised to see not one, but two faces reflected there. I see my own face, and also the face of my Savior. I see that His life is woven together with mine. I see that His love and support makes my life meaningful. Gratitude swells within my heart.

A comfortable chair waits for me in front of the fire of love. It is inviting and has embroidery on the back. I trace the stiches with my fingers. At first the words are difficult to read, but as the fire tosses light onto the chair and fills the room with love, the words become clearer.

I can read the words now. Remember Who You Are. What a gift.

It’s a beautiful chair. I think I’ll sit a while.

Linda Garner

We Can Be More Gentle With Ourselves

I love the holidays, but there is so much to do. It can be hectic. High expectations. High stress. It's hard to measure up. Take time to do something nice for yourself, and please while you're dishing up kindness to everyone else, take a nice portion for yourself. If everything's not perfect, relax and look for the humor in the situation. Reduce stress by choosing gratitude. When things go wrong remember how awesome you are and always be gentle with yourself.

I love these healing words by Michael McLean. You may want to post them somewhere in your home to help you find peace when you are doing the Holiday Dance of Stress.


Gentle

Words and Music by Michael McLean


Like a gentle wind can blow the clouds from the sky,
Like a gentle touch can ease the pain of goodbye,
Like a gentle smile embraces empty souls in lonely places,
We should be more gentle with ourselves.


Like the friend who gently builds us up when we're down,
Like a gentle kiss can turn our world all around,
We've been hurt by others often,
We've forgiven and forgotten,
We should be more gentle with ourselves.


Life can be hard but
we need not be so hard
on ourselves,
If we will see...


Like the Shepherd leads his flock with gentle commands.
With his gentle voice that only hearts understand.
One thing we can know for certain, He has borne the awful burdens
so we can be more gentle with ourselves.


One thing that I know for certain:
He will bear my every burden,
So I can be gentle with myself.


Thanks, Mike. I love those words.

Linda Garner

Putting My Body First

The older I get, the more I appreciate my body. My body is my most valuable resource. I have sometimes taken her for granted. My friends and I are noticing changes. Some of us are slowing down. Tiredness, aches,and pains are common concerns. I’m not ready for this.

I expect to live a long time, and I’m not ready for the rocking chair. There are things I want to do. I need to feel good. Now, more than ever before I need to take care of my body.

My body is my first stewardship, my first priority. If I don’t take care of her, my body will have a hard time supporting me. This is the only body I am ever going to get, at least in this life. What could be more important than nourishing and strengthening my body?

Health is a controversial subject, but most experts agree that our bodies need exercise. Staying active is important. I have health issues that respond to exercise, so it is a high priority for me. Still, it is easy to let other activities take priority. If I do not exercise early in the day, chances are good that it won’t happen. I have good intentions, but am easily distracted.

I don’t mind exercise, but I don’t love it. There are lots of things I’d rather do. However, I love what exercise does for me. The health benefits are huge, and my body gives me immediate feedback. Exercise is a mood enhancer, and makes me feel amazing.

For years a daily walk was my favorite exercise. It’s free and I can do it any time, any place. Fresh air and sunshine have extra benefits. Most of us don’t get enough vitamin D. Sunshine helps our vitamin D levels. If you can find someone to walk with you, it gets better. Walking is more fun with a friend, and a daily commitment to meet at a certain time and place will develop consistency.

I find it much more difficult to maintain consistency when I don’t have a walking partner. Other exercise routines that have worked for me have been a daily bike ride, bouncing to music on our trampoline, working out with a yoga video, and dancing to music in my living room. (No spectators allowed.)

Our bodies are meant to move and the type of exercise we choose probably doesn’t matter as much as daily consistency. I found some helpful websites: hundredpushups.com and twohundredsitups.com A few weeks ago, I couldn’t imagine doing ten pushups, let alone one hundred. I didn’t do pushups as a teenager, so how could I do them now? Despite my insecurity, I wanted to strengthen my core which has grown rather weak and flabby.

The hundred pushups site gave me a plan that was totally doable, and I can do more pushups than I ever thought possible. I do pushups three days a week, and decided to add a sit up routine to the other three days. I do pushups Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and sit ups Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. I am getting stronger.

In addition to this, I walk, bike, jump, dance, or do yoga every day. I aim for an hour of exercise each day. That’s a big time drain, but I view it as an investment in my health. I could use a walking partner, though. Any takers?

I gave up walking for a while because of Plantar Fasciitis. That’s when we bought our bikes and it was a great help. I stayed off my feet as much as possible and got one of those little foot rollers that my chiropractor sells. It was heaven.

I didn’t see any significant improvement in my feet until I started taking magnesium. I had read about magnesium’s benefits and decided I needed some. What a difference it made in my feet. I had to take a lot at first, but now I just need a little. I thought I’d share this information in case any of my readers have Plantar Fasciitis. If you don’t have it be grateful. It’s no fun.

Putting my body first is not always easy, but I am really trying. My body has been good to me and I owe her something in return. If I am good to her, I think she’ll make it worth my time.

Come back next week for some tips on healthy eating.

Linda Garner

The Truth About Labels

The box was filled with canned vegetables, and was too heavy for me to carry. It was a wedding present, and a welcome one, I must admit. What newlyweds wouldn’t appreciate some food to stock their pantry?

There was one slight problem. No labels. Seriously. NO LABELS.

Dinnertime became an adventure. We never knew what was coming out of that can. What will we serve with that meatloaf? It was a loaded question. We learned to love spaghetti night with mystery on the side. Lasagna served with surprise was always a hit.

It was kooky but we had fun with it. We couldn’t tell by looking at the can what was inside. We had to look deeper. We had to actually open up the can and see for ourselves what was inside.

Labels work well for lots of things. Cans, clothes, pillows, toilet paper, and packaged food of every kind have useful labels. However, labels don’t always work well for people, especially when we don't look inside.

Sometimes we wear labels that someone else chose for us. Often they are not complementary. Lazy, thoughtless, worthless, dumb, weird are some that come to mind. These labels are damaging. Get rid of them.

Better labels are those that build confidence and self-worth. Try wearing something like kind, helpful, smart, thoughtful, creative, sensitive, sincere, or grateful. Wearing positive labels helps us feel valued and significant.

We tend to become what we think we are. Sometimes this means we become what we think others think we are. Like a sponge we soak up the ideas that are directed to us even when they are not true. If they feel true to us, we absorb those ideas and reflect them in our actions and choices. Sometimes these ideas have the shape of words, but a mean look or unkind behavior can be just as significant.

I recall a family activity when our children were young. We wrote each child a letter complimenting them on one or two qualities we appreciated in them. The activity was magical. The children were delighted to have such nourishment, but the fun was just beginning.

For weeks after the activity, we noticed the children taking it one step farther. The child who was praised for sharing said things like, “I think I should share this toy with my sister, because I’m good at sharing.” The child who was praised for patience said something like “It’s okay if you’re busy. I can wait, because I am patient.” The child who was praised for cheerfulness bounced out of bed each morning with a smile and spread happiness where ever she could.

Because of the effectiveness of this activity, I began to wish that we had made our lists longer. Think of all the things we could have listed, if we had realized what a difference it would make.

Don’t you love to be noticed for something positive. Often as parents we do just the opposite. We pay attention to the negative and ignore the positive. What are we thinking? The behavior we feed is the one that will grow.

If we want to make a difference we need to celebrate the positive. Think of a positive trait that you want to nurture in someone and notice any behavior that is a step in the right direction. Give complements and watch to see what happens. This can’t be phony.

An almost magical thing occurs when children hear us praising them to others, especially when they think we don’t know they are listening.

We can teach our kids to look for the good in others and to say positive things to them. Children can be cruel, but we can teach them to be kind. Negative labels created in childhood by thoughtless words are sometimes difficult to erase. Let’s teach kids not to create them in the first place.

Bullying is prevalent in our society today. It has worked its way into neighborhoods and schools. Bullies thrive on making others miserable. Often they try to make themselves feel good by making others feel bad. Too many children have been damaged in this way. Such damage may have a permanent effect on a precious life.

Think of a negative label you received as a child and the damage it did to you. Was it lasting? If you were fortunate, you were able to see through it or overcome it. Maybe you had helpful teachers or family who made a difference for you. For some it is devastating.

You have daily opportunities to make a difference by treating someone with kindness. Though you may encounter people who seem annoying, irritating, irresponsible, or difficult, you can respond kindly. You can choose to validate them with positive labels. Look for something good to appreciate and mention it.

You can do this at work, in the neighborhood, or at church. You can respond positively in the grocery store or in the doctor’s office. You can do it in the bleachers at the soccer game.

Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Shake off the negative labels you have acquired over time. Let them go. Whether you created the label or someone else did, if it is not a helpful label, toss it out.

Create for yourself positive labels. You may choose to post them on a mirror or some other prominent place. You may choose to repeat them out loud. Notice any behavior that validates a positive label and acknowledge your progress.

There are lots of desirable labels, but my favorite is I am a Child of God. It is true, and it is overflowing with possibilities. I love remembering who I am. What label could be better than that?

Linda Garner

Let the Healing Begin

“We think that depression is a negative thing, but really it’s a chance to go inside and do some deep cleaning. It’s a time to rebalance and remember who you are.” Janet Wuthrich Stuart

Those aren’t Janet’s exact words, but they are close. Janet was my friend and she died a few years ago after a long illness. I believe she was well acquainted with depression.

Most of us have dealt with depression at least once in our lives. There are different kinds of depression. There is the kind that seems to come from brain chemistry and there is the kind that comes from challenging circumstances. Sometimes they come together.

In today’s world, there is a quick fix road for depression that includes prescription medication. I can tell you from experience that it is anything but quick. For some, it can support healing, when combined with other kinds of treatment. For most, it is not a long term solution.

When I think about my friend’s words, I realize that there is much more to healing than medication. Going inside is often painful, but crucial to healing. Deep cleaning is difficult but essential if healing is to be complete. At times we all need to rebalance in meaningful ways. I can’t think of anything that would do more for us, than remembering who we are.

Today a close friend told me that he is depressed. My reaction was not what you might expect. Instead of worrying about him, I rejoiced. My thought was this. Thank goodness. You are beginning to feel again.

Have you ever buried your feelings because they were too painful to deal with? Have you ever masked your hurt under a blanket of apathy? Not caring is a way to cope, but it doesn’t serve you well in the long run. You can only hide your feelings for so long. When the light reaches inside, those hidden feelings must surface. Will it be painful? Yes. Depressing? You bet. How long will it take? Who knows.

But the good news is, this is the first step to healing. You may want to get some help, but much of this is a do-it-yourself project. Who but you can go inside your head and rebalance? Let the healing begin.

Grab your cleaning supplies, and get ready to scrub. Couldn’t we all use some deep cleaning?

Linda Garner

Should I answer the Doorbell?

Has this ever happened to you?

It's 10:00 a.m.. I've been up writing since 6:00 a.m, but I am still in my pajamas and my hair is wild one side and flat on the other, I have dark circles under my eyes from the mascara I didn't wash off last night, and there is broccoli in my teeth. (I get the munchies when I write.) The doorbell rings. What do I do?

When the doorbell rings, I notice the time and realize that it would be really nice if I had dressed and done my hair a little before 10:00. Makeup would be great, but it's a little late for that. It was still dark when I jumped out of bed and ran to my computer. I couldn't wait to get going. Where did the last four hours go?

Should I answer the doorbell? I could hide. What if it's someone important. I peek out the window. There's a car out front. I don't recognize it. What should I do. The person at the door may think I just got up. The person at the door may think that I am lazy or maybe a slob. But I'm not a slob, and I'm not lazy. I try to loosen the broccoli from my teeth with my tongue. Maybe they won't notice. Maybe they don't even know me. If I don't smile they might not see the broccoli. What do I do?

I answer it of course. I'm a little embarrassed, but hey how bad can it be? I know I don't look my best, but I can hold my head up. I can be polite and I can smile. Does that broccoli show?

She does know me. She's a friend. She is dressed up for work and she looks great. In spite of the broccoli, I smile. I don't explain my appearance, even though I know she's probably wondering. She's seen me look better. I don't feel bad.

A gift. She's brought me a gift. It's a thank-you from her girls--the ones I spoke to last week about self-worth. Now I get to practice what I preach. It's not my appearance that makes me worthwhile. It's not my hair, my clothes, my makeup. It's what's inside. It's who I am. It's my Heavenly Father's love.

Can Heavenly Father love me with broccoli in my teeth? Yes. In my pajamas with bed head and mascara circles? Yes.

I thank her for the note, and I open it without glancing in the mirror. I can laugh about that later. The note is awesome. The messages are sweet. The girls get it. For now, they know who they are. And if they remember, that will make the difference.

I look in the mirror and laugh. I pick at the broccoli in my teeth and remember who I am. I am a daughter of God, who loves me. For me, that makes all the difference.

Linda Garner

What is that Negative Thought Costing You?

“No thought lives in your head rent-free. Each thought you have will either be an investment or a cost. It will either move you toward happiness and success or away from it. It will either empower you or disempower you. That’s why it is imperative you choose your thoughts and beliefs wisely." T. Harv Ecker

I love this quote. It resonates deeply with me. I've often said "You can't afford the luxury of a negative thought." I believe it with all my heart. Buying into negative thinking drains us of power and energy. It sucks us dry and leaves us with low self-esteem and low productivity.

Choosing to think positively strengthens us and builds our sense of worth. We get more done. We love more. We create more. And honestly, we enjoy more.

Though we are surrounded by negative influences, we have a choice. We can choose what we absorb. We can choose how we respond. We can choose our attitude.

Have you ever noticed how negative people drain your energy, yet positive people are like a breath of fresh air? Which person would you like to be, the person who wears you out, or the person that lifts you and inspires you?


Negative thoughts come to all of us, but we don't have to let them stay. Send them packing. Kick them to the curb. Your mind is a high rent district. Don't let the riff-raff in. Now don't go feeling sorry for getting rid of your negative thoughts. They can always go to the homeless shelter.

Entertain positive thoughts. Feed them. Clothe them. Enjoy them. Dream big. Believe in yourself. Feel gratitude. Choose joy. Bring beautiful thoughts home to stay. Let them move in and buy them lovely furniture.

What is that negative thought costing you? Choose wisely.

Linda Garner