Confidence is Catching

Ever wonder why it is sometimes hard to feel confident?

Negative messages play a part. We see and hear things that zap our confidence every day.

It's not always easy to be positive when we are surrounded by negatives. Still we can choose a positive outlook. We can look for the good. We can complement others. We can complement ourselves. Why not.


Forgiveness and love are the antidote for judgement. We forgive others when they make mistakes. We love them even when they aren't perfect. Why not forgive ourselves when things go wrong. Let's do our best, and then forgive the rest. Forgive, and move on with confidence and love. Remember, it's okay to love yourself.


Comparing is a big confidence demon. We see others at their best and ourselves at our worst. We try to keep up with the neighbors. We want our yards, our bank accounts, and our children to look like theirs. It's hard to measure up.




Gratitude is the antidote for comparing. Gratitude helps us appreciate what we have. When we are comparing ourselves or our posessions with others we can't enjoy either one. Comparing robs us of peace and joy. When we choose to compare we can never have enough or be enough.

We can be our own worst enemy. We can be demanding and cruel. Judging and competing can destroy our peace and our confidence.

Choose to be positive. Choose joy. Choose confidence. Choose forgiveness. Choose love.

The choice is yours.

Linda Garner

It'll Be Our Secret

The page was covered with circles of different sizes. I invited the girls to write in each circle something they liked about themselves. I suggested that some could be about their appearance, but some should be about other things. Talents could be included, as well as character traits.

Most girls got right to work, but one beautiful and outstanding girl stared at the paper in her lap, and then gave me a questioning look. "This doesn't feel right," she said. "This feels like bragging." She really looked uncomfortable. "We aren't supposed to..." Her voice trailed off, as if she wasn't sure how to finish the sentence.

I finished it for her "We aren't supposed to like ourselves?"I asked. "Is that what you're thinking?"

She nodded. She seemed embarassed.

The discussion that followed was exciting. Ideas were shared that gave her a new perspective on self-worth. We gave her permission to celebrate her strengths. We gave her permission to love herself.

Lots of us identify with Emily's (not her real name)question. "We aren't supposed to like ourselves, are we? Liking ourselves is not part of our culture. We think that people who like themselves are selfish and bratty. We think that people who like themselves are mean.

Honestly, I think we have it backwards. People who like themselves are free to reach out to others. They serve more. They love more. They worry less about appearances. People who like themselves have more compassion. They don't go around hurting others.

Bullies are not people who like themselves. Prisons are filled with people who don't like themselves. Drug abuse, eating disorders, personality disorders, behavior disorders, and addictions take root in people who don't like themselves.

If we are supposed to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, we better like ourselves a lot.

Draw some circles on a piece of paper. It's easy. Grab some lids from things in your cupboard and start tracing. In each circle write something you like about yourself. Don't be embarassed. Nobody has to see it but you. It'll be our secret.

Isn't it time we starting loving ourselves?

Linda Garner

Hats Off to You!

There’s something about hats. Even though I love carefree simplicity and am casual by nature, I adore hats. When we cleaned out our parents’ home, after they had died, we discovered a bag of hats belonging to Mom. I have no memory of Mom wearing these hats, but I felt an instant connection to her and claimed the hats.

I love those vintage hats. I have used them often, in displays and presentations. I also claimed Dad’s army hat, and dress hats which I believe belonged to my two Grandfathers. My grandfather’s hats have a spot in a display case in my living room. Mother’s hats were once displayed atop an etegere in my bedroom.

Last summer we added a closet to our bedroom and removed the etegere. Where did the hats end up? It crossed my mind more than once, and yesterday I went on a frantic search because I needed the hats for a skit tonight. To my horror, I found the hats in the garage in two boxes. One box was moist and full of mildew. I almost cried. I cleaned up what I could, and sorrowfully threw two hats away.

I’m not sure what fuels my fascination with hats. I’ve always loved them. Like you, I wear many hats. I wear the mother hat, the sweetheart (wife) hat, the grandma hat, the piano teacher hat, the friend hat, the sister hat, the aunt hat, the writer hat, the speaker hat. I’ve also been known to wear the listener hat, the advice giver hat, the advice taker hat, the learner hat. I’ve often thought about wearing the organizer hat or the clean house hat, but they just don’t make them in my size. Wish they did. Or do I?

Mostly, I wear the hats I love, and I love the way I feel in them. I love being myself. Your hats may be different than mine. If they are right for you, that’s all that matters. Wear the hats you love, and have fun wearing them. Enjoy being yourself. Choose it.

Hats off to you!

Linda Garner