A Culture of Kindness

I was at the counter checking out. It was a small store and the owner was my cashier. His phone rang and he answered. To his dismay, it turned out to be a solicitor. His friendly, polite demeanor instantly changed. He rudely rebuffed the caller and noisily hung up on him. As if that wasn’t enough, he then grouched to me about having his time wasted by unwanted phone calls.

I was uncomfortable with his behavior and it caused me to to reflect on how I treat others. I am usually polite to people I know, and people I interact with in social situations. I am polite in the doctors office and in the checkout line at the grocery store, but I how do treat strangers that I meet only on the phone. And what if their call happens to be ill-timed or obnoxious? Do I then choose to treat them with kindness or hostility?

There is enough trash talk in the world. We do not lack for unkind words, put downs, or confrontations. We have more than enough bullies, more than enough fear and discouragement, more than enough comparison and competition, and more than enough isolation and sadness. What we need is kindness.

My friend Judy Wells, who is an anti-bullying speaker, tells me that our culture breeds bullies. She hopes that we can create a culture of kindness. What an amazing idea. Instead of a culture of competition, a culture of kindness. Instead of a culture of deception and fraud, a culture of kindness. Instead of a culture of selfishness and bullying, a culture of kindess.

I have seldom returned to that small store, and I have tried never to treat another person with unkindness. The salesman on the phone, or at my door are only trying to make a living. I don’t have to give them my business, but I can certainly give them some courtesy. It costs me nothing. It’s the least I can do.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to create a culture of kindness? If we worked on it together, maybe it could happen. Won’t you join us? That would make three of us. You, Judy, and I.

While we’re changing the world, let’s not forget to spread a little kindness around our homes, and please, pretty please,

...will you please dump some of that kindness on yourself. You deserve it.

Linda Garner

Toxic Waste

No kidding: It said it was bad for you




Have you ever eaten one of these? I haven’t. I’ve never even seen one. The title is intriguing. Can you imagine: Toxic Waste? Nuclear Sludge? Sounds delicious, right?

Did you hear the news? The Toxic Waste candy bar has been recalled. Turns out, it has high levels of lead and is indeed toxic. A clever marketing tactic gone bad. One headline read No kidding: It said it was bad for you.

Even without the high levels of lead, I’m not sure I could ever put something called Toxic Waste into my body. Just goes against my grain. Maybe you’re not as sensitive to the label as I am, but now that you know the truth, I’m confident that you would avoid it.

We wouldn’t put toxic waste into our bodies, but what are we putting in our minds? The air is filled with toxic waste, and I don’t mean air pollution. I’m not just talking about the obvious things like pornography and filthy language. I’m talking about the negative messages we absorb every day.

Gossip, arguments, comparisons all take a toll on our well-being, and so do the implied expectations that we should look and act like movie stars and fashion models. There is a lot of fat talk circulating. When we indulge in fat talk or other trash talk about our bodies we not only sabotage our efforts to feel good about ourselves, but we sabatoge our body’s ability to support us. Thinking negative thoughts about your body make it that much harder for your body to do it’s amazing work.

You wouldn’t talk that way to your best friend. Why would you talk that way to yourself?

Bad habits are sometimes hard to change. The quickest way to diffuse the toxic waste is appreciation. Find things to appreciate. Appreciate those around you. Appreciate your family and your friends. Appreciate your comforts, your blessings, your opportunities. Appreciate your talents and your abilities. Take time to think about your amazing body and appreciate what it does for you each and every day. Your body shows up for you 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. That is incredible.

Thank your body for its tireless service. Do something nice for your body today.

Toxic Waste? Who needs it?

Linda Garner

Something Wonderful

“By being yourself you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.” Edwin Elliot

I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not good enough. No one likes me. I’m not popular. My clothes aren’t cute enough. I hate my hair. I hate my freckles. I wish I were blonde. I wish I were taller. I wish I were slimmer. I’m ugly. I’m fat. I’m a loser.

If you’re a woman,or a young women, chances are you’ve had thoughts like these. These thoughts are demeaning and drain us of our self-worth. Somehow, we have been programmed to believe that our worth is somehow attached to the way we look. TV, movies, and magazines give us a distorted view of beauty and reality. Trying to live up to the distorted pictures we see is not fulfilling. No wonder we sometimes feel empty.

A beautiful woman is one who accepts and appreciates herself as she is. A beautiful woman loves and appreciates her body, flaws and all. A beautiful woman radiates confidence and smiles often. She believes in herself and doesn’t compare herself to the images on the screen. A beautiful woman takes care of herself. She is comfortable in her own skin and doesn’t try to live up to anyone’s expectation. She is content to be herself.

What if we could change the way we think? What if we could change the way we see ourselves. Instead of the trash talk at the beginning of this post, we could say: I am beautiful. I am clever and smart. I am good. I am amazing. I am enough. Everyone likes me. People love me. People are so nice to me. I love my clothes. I adore my hair. Freckles are fun. I like being myself. I am beautiful just the way I am. I am a winner.

Silence the negative chatter in your head. You’re in charge. Take control of your thoughts. For every negative thought that pops into your head, give yourself three compliments. You give complements to others. How about treating yourself kindly, for a change. Do something nice for yourself. Think beautiful thoughts.

You’re beautiful. Yes, you. It’s true, but it won’t mean a thing until you believe it. Go look at yourself in a mirror and tell yourself so. Look in those gorgeous eyes and say “Hi Beautiful. You look fantastic.” It’s okay to love yourself. I promise you it will make all the difference. Start today.

You don’t need to be like anyone else. It’s okay to be different. Different is awesome. There is nobody else on the planet that is exactly like you. You are amazing. Appreciate your unique gifts. Appreciate your unique beauty. Be yourself. That’s something only you can do.

It's true, you know... By being yourself you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.

Linda Garner